Someone with emotionally unavailable tendencies often exhibits hot and cold behavior. And instead of letting you in completely, they keep things on a surface level. They always want to maintain some sort of safe distance. While it doesn’t guarantee that you’ll have a beautiful bond with every person you partner up with, it certainly helps.Įmotionally unavailable people, on the other hand, fear intimacy. The key is acceptance of a wide range of emotions rather than responsiveness solely to distress. It requires a certain degree of openness to intimacy as well as the capability to empathize and provide emotional support to both yourself and those around you.Įmde (1980) refers to emotional availability as the individual’s emotional responsiveness and “attunement” to another’s needs and goals. īeing emotionally available means that you can sustain emotional bonds. To better understand what emotional unavailability means, it can be good to explore what the opposite is, namely emotional availability. Well, there might be! But before we get to that, let’s first explore what emotional unavailability exactly is and what makes someone behave in this way. Are you pushing them away? Are there things you could do differently? Because what if this time you finally manage to overcome the barrier and they let you all the way in?Īs time goes by, you may wonder more and more if the issue lies with you. In a way, it’s clear that something’s missing, but you also can’t let go just yet. Passionate moments alternate with feeling rejected and unloved. And it seems like you’re constantly hitting an invisible but painful wall. The time you spend together may be intoxicating and fun, but somehow it feels like you’re always kept at an emotional arm’s length.Īlmost every attempt to get closer to them is met with resistance and avoidance. Why is your partner so emotionally unavailable?ĭating someone who is emotionally unavailable can be draining and confusing.
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